Friday, February 24, 2012

Grow in Grace

Grace - Eleanor can say that word and loves to quickly retort it when I say, "Hail Mary, full of..." She is so precious and I love hearing her say it. I need to work on striving to be a woman of grace and strive to even be a portion of what our Mother in heaven is in that respect. I love the verse for today:

But grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory now and to the day of eternity. [Amen.]
- 2 Peter 3:18 -

I so enjoy teaching Eleanor about our faith and well more right now, it is more just teaching her that Jesus loves her and she loves him, and pointing out Jesus/Mary/the saints wherever we see them. In order to encourage her to grow in knowledge of our Lord, I can only do so by setting an example of someone who strives to do so. What can I do to learn more about our Lord? Starting with diving into scripture and devoting time to Him before my trash TV or even maybe before my daily cleaning, I hope to do a better job at putting Him first. Why is it that when we wake up, the first thing we do is read a book or put on a show while Eleanor drinks her milk? Why do we not FIRST thank our Father for a new day? We are diligent about praying before meals and with Eleanor before bed as a family but I feel like there is always room for improvement. My hope is that Andy and I will continue to model for Eleanor giving thanks and praise to our Lord and asking for His guidance so that she might desire to give "praise and glory to the day of eternity." :)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Lent 2012

I can't believe Lent is upon us again. It seems like the years are flying oh so quickly! Andy and I got so caught up in new jobs and the business of life that we really felt like we kind of "fell off the beaten path" with God lately. I love how Lent falls right at the beginning of the year and can serve as God's "kick in the butt" to help us get back on track. One of the things I discerned to do these 40 days, was inspired by a post I found on pinterest about 31 Days of Praying for Your Child. I (as with ANYTHING I find on pinterest) decided to modify it some but love the gist of using scripture to pray for our children. I (like many Catholics) am terrible with my scripture and have always had it as a "back of my mind" goal to dive into God's word and really learn and know it like so many of my Protestant brothers and sisters do. SO, what a better way to learn it than to learn it through prayer for my baby girl. I also love how the person who wrote this article would pray the scripture throughout the day and then recite it to their child at the end of the night. Since it is only 31 days, I will find some virtues/fruits/etc. that haven't been covered and will add them near the end but the verse for today is:

Saturday, February 11, 2012

What is His Plan?

So I have been so back and forth not trusting God but trying to figure it out on my own - when we are supposed to have our next child. I seriously thought He would just give the next one to us like he did Eleanor - on His own timing, we had no planning or predicting involved at all - it just happened. He hasn't though and Eleanor is already almost 21 months! It is funny, I always thought we would be that couple that people thought, oh their are pregnant AGAIN... We aren't and I can't tell if it bothers me that we don't fit that mold or what. I am just not at peace at all with this whole topic. I thought I would have this extreme desire to have my next child and I would just KNOW when the timing was right. It is almost as anti-climactic as finding my wedding dress was - it was NOT a say yes to the dress moment where I put it on, bawled my eyes out, and KNEW it was the one. I found one I liked but had to go home, think about if I liked it enough for the cost, and look at pictures of it for a couple weeks before I decided it was in fact the one. I hate to say it, but I am almost doing that with this child. That is TERRIBLE! First of all, God is probably rolling over on his side laughing right now at this entire post but I will of course keep writing...

Back to the dress metaphor...I seriously have been thinking about the cost of another child, how this child will mean that at any time, God could give us our third at which point I would have to quit working ($3000/month for daycare...really!?) and that freaks me out because I have no idea how we could live off just Andy's paycheck...God willing I guess it will work of course...I also haven't had that revelation that I thought I would. Andy and I really feel like spring is the best time to have a baby so that he or she can spend as much time as possible with me before having to go back to work (since we get the entire summer off) and the time to conceive and deliver in the spring is quickly approaching...freaking me out!

Andy has on Eleanor's birth playlist and Tim McGraw - My Little Girl is playing. This song has brought tears to my eyes each time I hear it since I first hear it with Eleanor in my belly. "Beautiful Baby from the outside in, chase your dreams but always know the road that will lead you home again. Go on take on this old world but to me you know you'll always be my little girl." I listen to this with once again, tears in my eyes, and can't even express how blessed I feel. Eleanor is more than we could have ever asked for and that statement alone makes me so sad that I am not immediately accepting of the idea of another child. SO I had a major meltdown moment which prompted me to write this post and now that I got it all out - not sure I feel any better ha! We will continue to try to be more open to His will and guidance: Holy Spirit - speak to us! :) Or anyone else...feel free to comment :) Until the next one graces us in my womb, we will continue to enjoy the AMAZING joy that is Eleanor. Oh we are so blessed I can't even say anything else! God is good.